Guys' Rules

[Rafter]

The Guys' Rules
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear “the rules “from the female point of view...

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1 . You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, NASCAR, NBA, or golf.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

My one and only rule.

"Be kind and you'll do fine."

I fell asleep on a couch earlier. I'm now moving into a real bed.

Know any rules that don't include girlfriends?

 

[Lady Day]

Rafter, did you write those or did you find those somewhere?

You forgot one.

1. Men are WAY more sensitive than women think they are.

LD

 

[Fletch]

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

1a. Regulation shades for military gear, such as flight jackets and webbing, do not count as "colors" for purposes of this rule. See as many of these as you want to, as long as you call them by government number, such as olive drab #44, and not some cutesy food-related name.
1b. Olives are not "food." They are martini equipment.

Know any rules that don't include girlfriends?

1. Any man with no obvious girlfriend shall be assumed to be in the closet. Exception: gun collectors.

 

[Samsa]

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Of course, Columbus didn't end up in the country he was trying to reach.

 

[Amy Jeanne]

I'm so glad my husband and I don't adhere to any silly "battle-of-the-sexes" guidelines.

 

[GoldLeaf]

I'm so glad my husband and I don't adhere to any silly "battle-of-the-sexes" guidelines.

I hear that one!

I remember from my Women's Studies class a study that was done at some point that suggested (key word there, not "prove") that the most attractive people of each gender were the ones that approached being gender "neutral" on a scale. Basicly, women that aren't EXTREMELY feminine are generally considered more attractive to men, and men that aren't EXTREMELY masculine are generally more attractive to women.

I am sure we can all think of the girl that could hang with the guys, and the guy that had alot of female friends. I count my lucky stars that my husband is pretty "neutral". Most of those "rules" don't apply to him. We are very much alike. I am clearly a woman and he is clearly a man, but when it comes to behaviours like the ones described above, they just don't exist with us. He doesn't even watch sports on TV. Yay! And since I am color blind, thank goodness he can see colors to help me match lol

It is fortunate for the world that we don't all want the same thing from our partners, competition would be pretty stiff I know that my relationship wouldn't work for another person, but its perfect for me

 

[Tommy Fedora]

And the toilet seat does NOT have to be down !

 

[Miss Neecerie]

And the toilet seat does NOT have to be down !

I disagree...if its -her- house, you put it back how you found it.

Just like I lift it back up when I am done, while at a bloke's house...

 

[Paisley]

Another Rule

When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

 

[Pilgrim]

I am pleased that my wife intuitively understands the spirit behind those rules and is kind enough to observe most of them - in spirit.

She doesn't play mind games, doesn't ask questions when she doesn't want to hear the answer, knows that if she asks, she WILL get an answer, and if she asks me to do something, she doesn't micromanage it during the process.

But she's a farm girl and grew up around a big strapping dad and two strong brothers. She understands men's habits and work pretty darn well.

I do my best to do the reverse, and I will admit there is more than a grain of truth in many of those rules.

Those are big reasons we have been together for 23 years.

:cheers1:

 

[GoldLeaf]

But she's a farm girl and grew up around a big strapping dad and two strong brothers. She understands men's habits and work pretty darn well.

Interesting point you made, that sort of goes back to the study I mentioned above. She is more toward the "gender neutral" part of the scale than the "extremely feminine". Not to say she isn't clearly a lady, but a part of her understands and can accept male behavior.

Since gender traits are learned, she learned some of the more typically masculine traits from the time she spent around her father and brothers. This has helped her have an easier time relating to you in your marriage

Of course, this is my interpretation, as its been years since I read that study and took that class. But it seems to fit together, no?

Or I can just hush

Congrats either way on 23 years, that's fabulous!

 

[Paisley]

My rules...

...from having had several female roommates:

The fact that my light is out and I am in bed means that I am not in the mood for a conversation.

Instead of waking me up at midnight to let you in, why don't you take your house key with you?

Please ask your relatives not to call before 8 a.m. and after 10 p.m.

Please ask your relatives not to ask me where you are when you aren't in.

Please ask your relatives to have the courtesy to say "goodbye" before they hang up.

Please stop complaining and start asking for what you want.

Details about your love life is too much information.

Your kind efforts to reorganize my belongings are not necessary. (That means, stop doing it.)

Can you see why I live alone?

 

[rockyj]

Only one rule in the frozen north

Well, it's two really. The toilet seat in the out house is down in the summer ( mosquitoes) and up in the winter (Frost). The rest is fine

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

1. Any man with no obvious girlfriend shall be assumed to be in the closet. Exception: gun collectors.

(cocks gun) Imma gonna give a few folks a friendly visit....

And put the toilet seat down! This ain't no public restroom.

 

[Fletch]

The toilet seat in the out house is down in the summer ( mosquitoes) and up in the winter (Frost).

I've read quite a bit of Frost, and I don't ever recall him mentioning outhouse seats.
Maybe I need to go over The Old Man's Winter Night again.

 

[Diamondback]

[voice=Adam Savage, [i]MythBusters[/i]]"I reject your 'rules' and substitute my own!"[/voice]
You KNEW someone was gonna say it, I'm just getting it out of the way as a public service. No need for thanks...


*crickets chirping*


Don't all express your gratitude at once! lol

 

[HadleyH]

The other Golden Rule!!!!!!!

When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

...and there is nothing more to add to the subject.

 

[Cousin Hepcat]

Know any rules that don't include girlfriends?

1. Any man with no obvious girlfriend shall be assumed to be in the closet. Exception: gun collectors.

WHOA, Nellie... Here's one:

1. Real men would never say stuff online that they wouldn't DARE say to someone's face (not twice, anyway)... and in the unusual even that they do, they would be man enough to apologize (or at least acknowledge they understand they would've gotten a :kick: in live conversation, if not from one single guy, then from any one of the many others who were just insulted).

That was a major draw of the lounge when I joined- none of those "internet games" here. 'Less someone just didn't think before they typed

Just remember, some of us have finally decided we *require* a gal who's into vintage to be serious about (on top of the other usual basic requirements), and they can be hard to find in some parts of the world...

- C H

 

[happyfilmluvguy]

You should go tell that to the IMDB boards...lol