Dating etiquette

[jamespowers]

I resemble that remark!

Which one? Geek or Hippie?
Geez, Geek I hope.

 

[Paisley]

Since its you and I know that you are no fool; I'll cut you some slack.
He must be independently wealthy.

I don't think he's wealthy. Just smart about science, good looking and a great dancer.

My best friend, who is always attracted to weiners, said, "I can see why you like him." Bad sign.

I should make a list of etiquette gaffes you can get away with if someone is a total fool for you.

 

[jamespowers]

I don't think he's wealthy. Just smart about science, good looking and a great dancer.

My best friend, who is always attracted to weiners, said, "I can see why you like him." Bad sign.

I should make a list of etiquette gaffes you can get away with if someone is a total fool for you.

lol lol lol lol Weiners.
Sometimes friends can make very poor choices for you and other times if they agree; you just might be right.

 

[Paisley]

I told her, "Pick a winner, not a weiner."

 

[zaika]

But seriously, Kitty, what they do in Oregon, and two places near where I live, makes it all worthwhile. They charge very little for the film (2nd run films or arthouse) and you buy real food at normal prices: pizza (plenty of veggie options), very fine local beers, other things. You take the drinks to your seats. There are tables. You also take a glowing number. Then when the food is ready, the servers bring you it. There are raffles and such before the film, too. You cannot smoke, alas. But the rest is great.

My hangout is the Laurelhurst here in PDX. Not McMenamin's, but you can see a show, have some good beer (or wine), slice of pizza...for around ten bucks. I rarely go to the big names theaters just because it's so dang expensive...and the movies usually suck anyway. At least the Laurelhurst shows old movies sometimes.

So here are my stories.

Since I suck at meeting men in real life, I went online many years ago. Found a dude who was somewhat interesting, agreed to meet. We had lunch, sat and talked, it was a ton of fun. Then he gets serious and says that he has something important to tell me. I thought he was going to ask me out for another date. No. He wanted to tell me THAT HE WAS MARRIED and WOULD I CARE TO SEE HIM AGAIN?? I told him that I wouldn't do that. Months later he tried again, saying that he couldn't help liking women so much. Whatever.

The best thing?? A few years later I met another dude (in real life this time, go me!), and we were on a date at my house, etc etc, and then he asks me if I knew that he HAD A GIRLFRIEND?? And since they are "polyamorous" would I still want to go out with him? Since I really really liked him I said I'd give it a try. That lasted for a day. Then we agreed to be just friends, but [huh] that didn't last long. I realized that I didn't really like him as a person. lol

Not really dating etiquette mistakes...just bad stories. Sorry...most of my dates have gone well, even though no actual relationship came from them.

 

[Dr Doran]

There are many things about a lady that will wiggle my wire, so to speak, but nothing more so than intelligence. If a lady doesn't stimulate me on an intellectual level, it's game over. That said, I don't think I could stick with someone very long if they had such a narrow focus of interests, plus not being interesting in conversing about anything else outside her own fortes could suggest she would have been a fairly selfish person anyhow. Been there...

Her focus was a bit narrow, true. Now all she talks about is the necessity of defending Israel against Arabs.

As to your general message, I agree fully that intelligence is highly important. However, so is being highly attractive. I have made the mistake of going out with people with only one of these traits. IT DID NOT WORK. I ended up leaving them for students if they didn't have the brains. I ended up not touching them and thereby annoying them if they didn't have the looks. One must have both.

Zaika -- that's good of you to resist these terribly attractive though otherwise committed men. lol. I have not heard the expression "polyamorous" in a while ... yuck.

 

[Dr Doran]

lol lol lol lol Weiners.
Sometimes friends can make very poor choices for you and other times if they agree; you just might be right.

This is incomprehensible. What?

 

[zaika]

Zaika -- that's good of you to resist these terribly attractive though otherwise committed men. lol. I have not heard the expression "polyamorous" in a while ... yuck.

psht. thanks for the kudos. lol
anytime i hear "polyamorous" i just want to gag. it might be for some, but it's definately not for me. it might be terribly selfish of me, but i don't want to be a side dish to anyone. i may not be attractive, but i'm not desperate!! i'd much rather be single than have to deal with bozos like that.

 

[deadpandiva]

I had a book called how to stay single. One of the chapters was about being tactless. It may come in handy for weeding out the undesirables.

I don't date because I am too nice and if I met someone who liked me and the feeling wasn't mutual I am not sure I could ever shake him. lol

 

[Dr Doran]

psht. thanks for the kudos. lol
anytime i hear "polyamorous" i just want to gag. it might be for some, but it's definately not for me. it might be terribly selfish of me, but i don't want to be a side dish to anyone. i may not be attractive, but i'm not desperate!! i'd much rather be single than have to deal with bozos like that.

My sister in law says "no woman is unattractive ... they just haven't figured out what to do with their looks yet."

 

[Dr Doran]

I had a book called how to stay single. One of the chapters was about being tactless. It may come in handy for weeding out the undesirables.

I don't date because I am too nice and if I met someone who liked me and the feeling wasn't mutual I am not sure I could ever shake him. lol

OUCH -- you need more practice dahling! I see you like Kurt Weill from your signature tag from "Speak Low" -- well, let me suggest another Weill tune to help you with this problem: "I'd rather be the kicker than the kicked" from Mahagonny, my favorite of his works (Three Penny Opera being my 2nd favorite).

 

[zaika]

My sister in law says "no woman is unattractive ... they just haven't figured out what to do with their looks yet."

you have a wise sister in law. lol i agree with her...but if you could pass along my pic and see if she has any suggestions...

 

[Dr Doran]

you have a wise sister in law. lol i agree with her...but if you could pass along my pic and see if she has any suggestions...

I will, but, no offense, but you don't look human. You look like a rabbit.

 

[zaika]

I will, but, no offense, but you don't look human. You look like a rabbit.

LOLIRL!!!! lol lol lol

 

[deadpandiva]

OUCH -- you need more practice dahling! I see you like Kurt Weill from your signature tag from "Speak Low" -- well, let me suggest another Weill tune to help you with this problem: "I'd rather be the kicker than the kicked" from Mahagonny, my favorite of his works (Three Penny Opera being my 2nd favorite).

I'll have to read those lyrics.

fftopic: I really would love to see Three Penny Opera. I'd like to hear the Original "Mac The Knife" as I am assuming it sounds quite different.

 

[Dr Doran]

LOLIRL!!!! lol lol lol

What's the joke -- I don't get it.

 

[Dr Doran]

I'll have to read those lyrics.

fftopic: I really would love to see Three Penny Opera. I'd like to hear the Original "Mac The Knife" as I am assuming it sounds quite different.

The song "Mackie Messer" from which "Mack the Knife" comes is a disgusting, nasty song with lyrics in German that mean "and that giant fire in Soho, seven children dead. And isn't that Mackie skulking in the shadows? And that child violated in her sleep -- how much did you charge, Mackie?" The fact that the song became "a swingin' tune" as Ella sang when she forgot the lyrics, a lite-hearted romp, is one of the great ironies of music! It is supposed to be sickening, as is the entire Threepenny Opera, a very very dark satire like Clockwork Orange --- which also paradoxically became a source of fun to certain people. You can find a DVD probably at your local public lending library.

 

[dhermann1]

3 Penny Opera

fftopic: Heights Players did 3 Penny Opera this year. Its a very odd piece. They had a sort of weak Mac (a very hard role to cast) but some other excellent people. Very odd story, I'm glad I saw it, loved the music, but I couldn't say it's a great piece of theater.
Anyhow, Zaika, I think you're a doll. Why if I weren't about 70 years too old for you . . . why I'd, I'd, I uhhhh . . . I forget.

 

[Paisley]

So here are my stories.

Since I suck at meeting men in real life, I went online many years ago. Found a dude who was somewhat interesting, agreed to meet. We had lunch, sat and talked, it was a ton of fun. Then he gets serious and says that he has something important to tell me. I thought he was going to ask me out for another date. No. He wanted to tell me THAT HE WAS MARRIED and WOULD I CARE TO SEE HIM AGAIN?? I told him that I wouldn't do that. Months later he tried again, saying that he couldn't help liking women so much. Whatever.

The best thing?? A few years later I met another dude (in real life this time, go me!), and we were on a date at my house, etc etc, and then he asks me if I knew that he HAD A GIRLFRIEND?? And since they are "polyamorous" would I still want to go out with him? Since I really really liked him I said I'd give it a try. That lasted for a day. Then we agreed to be just friends, but [huh] that didn't last long. I realized that I didn't really like him as a person. lol

Not really dating etiquette mistakes...just bad stories. Sorry...most of my dates have gone well, even though no actual relationship came from them.

About half the men who come on to me are married or have a girlfriend. Blech--no thanks!

 

[Dr Doran]

Very odd story, I'm glad I saw it, loved the music, but I couldn't say it's a great piece of theater.)

The Weill music is awesome -- the Brecht lyrics, all Marxist, make the story silly ....

But back to our topic:

Tiny etiquette mistake. No big deal really. One girl (a great one, really) and I went to a restaurant in North Beach. We sat outside. She tried something on my plate. That was fine on a cootie level as I don't believe in cooties and I had kissed her many times before.

But the thing is, I had not tried it yet. She said, "that's good!" then upon further chewing, "that's really good!" BEFORE I HAD EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO TRY IT.

I don't know -- to me that is somewhat annoying. Let the person who ordered it try it before you go tasting it.