Dating etiquette

[anon`]

I appreciate that, James. Thank you. Obviously Charles (the punchee) does not see it this way. My wife was 9 months pregnant at that moment, and to be perfectly honest, the way he was acting with the insults and all worried me a bit for her safety. I thought he might start pushing me and who knows what might have happened. We had been drinking, and we had attended our sister's funeral a few hours before, and he had been up most of the night finishing a memorial video. He was clearly in a crazy state. The sensible thing seemed to me to drop him on the ground immediately. Efficiently. No fuss, no muss. I did say, "Don't ever call me an idiot again." He then called the cops, pressed charges, and circulated an extremely prejudicial version of the tale to ALL the relatives; however, the judge (not a baby boomer, thank God) saw things my way and instead of misdemeanor assault, which my brother charged me with, I received Disturbing the Peace. Hundred dollar fine was waived.

Simple, effective and to the point (punch?).

I like the way you think. You're blessed with luck, as well, to have gone before a judge who isn't a blithering idiot.

 

[Dr Doran]

Simple, effective and to the point (punch?).

I like the way you think. You're blessed with luck, as well, to have gone before a judge who isn't a blithering idiot.

The judge was a good man, and looked at least 65; people of that age are often the opposite of idiots, in my experience. Most people who appear in front of him in his courtroom are drunk drivers, people charged with vagrancy, and general *%$-ups, so when he saw a guy in a suit speaking complete sentences I believe he felt some relief. When he asked me what I did, and I said graduate student, I think this may have impressed him; he asked where and I said Berkeley and his eyes widened; he asked in what subject and I said "ancient history, your honor, Greco-Roman history" and he sat upright.

His generation, the WW2 G.I. generation, was the last generation to have Greek and Latin as part of their regular education (this ended with the wonderful "improvements" ushered in in 1968 when the hippies demanded that their classes be "relevant").

The good-looking wife and tiny baby probably didn't hurt either. Mine, I mean. lol

 

[SamMarlowPI]

The judge was a good man, and looked at least 65; people of that age are often the opposite of idiots, in my experience. Most people who appear in front of him in his courtroom are drunk drivers, people charged with vagrancy, and general *%$-ups, so when he saw a guy in a suit speaking complete sentences I believe he felt some relief. When he asked me what I did, and I said graduate student, I think this may have impressed him; he asked where and I said Berkeley and his eyes widened; he asked in what subject and I said "ancient history, your honor, Greco-Roman history" and he sat upright.

His generation, the WW2 G.I. generation, was the last generation to have Greek and Latin as part of their regular education (this ended with the wonderful "improvements" ushered in in 1968 when the hippies demanded that their classes be "relevant").

The good-looking wife and tiny baby probably didn't hurt either. Mine, I mean. lol

ancient history...fascinating. i think i want to minor in ancient history...

 

[Dr Doran]

Fascinating it is, yes. But let me get back to the topic --

I set up my friend E. (a man) with my friend Mimi (a woman). E. went to the Edinburgh Castle, a bar in the Tenderloin of San Francisco, with Mimi. Music was playing on the jukebox. E. insisted that they move to another table. Why? "I'm a musician and I have sensitive ears." They moved. Then he insisted that they move again. Mimi was steamed, tried to be nice to him since he was my friend. The next day she called me, furious. "That was the worst date of my life," she said. "I want my money back."

 

[BegintheBeguine]

what do you all think of Mel's Diner? i mean as far as being too much like McD's or classy enough...? i've had a couple dates there that have turned out fine. casual of course.
i'm guessing the Mel's chain has stretched across the US and not just California...

I think it's a fun idea. An old boyfriend (we're still friends) and I had our first date at The Highland Diner and it was perfect! If a gal insists on 'classy', she doesn't want to hang out with you, she wants someone to pay for her expensive meal. Incidentally, we don't have a Mel's Diner here but I know what it is.

 

[Dr Doran]

If a gal insists on 'classy', she doesn't want to hang out with you, she wants someone to pay for her expensive meal. .

Ouch! I agree.

 

[Viola]

My date, who knew I was Catholic, had brought me to her parents' house without telling them! A few days later I brought up the amazing rudeness of going on a diatribe against a religion without determining whether persons present might be members of it. MY DATE ACTUALLY DEFENDED HER MOTHER, saying "Well, it's her house. She can say what she wants."

That's pretty awful.

My honey has already "apologized in advance" for everything his grandmother might say on the topic of religion, though. He's said she can be pretty bad.

But I'm pretty sure if she goes on a diatribe (and that's been mentioned as a possibility) it'd be on purpose. lol

 

[Dr Doran]

That's pretty awful.

My honey has already "apologized in advance" for everything his grandmother might say on the topic of religion, though. He's said she can be pretty bad.

But I'm pretty sure if she goes on a diatribe (and that's been mentioned as a possibility) it'd be on purpose. lol

On purpose? Sounds hostile.

 

[Viola]

Eh, she's old. Old people are allowed to be somewhat cranky. I'll make small-talk or something.

He's promised to make it up to me later. I don't have any other etiquette issues with him at all so I can let Grandma-said-WHAT slide. lol

 

[Dr Doran]

EHe's promised to make it up to me later.

An open-ended promise! Excellent. "I really wanted to go to Spago's honey..."

 

[KittyT]

If you are going to a movie, you know exactly how much that stuff costs in advace. Bring more $$$.

No I won't. It's highway robbery and I refuse to pay 500% of market value for ANYTHING. It's a matter of principle, and while many people on this forum have principles that lie with following the rules, mine simply do not. We will have to agree to disagree on this one.

This is why I go to the movies approximately once or twice a year and prefer to watch in the comfort of my where I can smoke, drink, pause to go to the bathroom and have a cat on my lap

 

[KittyT]

oh quite definitely! I was livid at first, then embarassed when she assumed i was "easy".

Of course. It may just be me, but I would have gone in and personally and diplomatically told her off myself.

 

[scotrace]

oh quite definitely! I was livid at first, then embarassed when she assumed i was "easy".

That story made my toes curl. Yikes!

 

[Edward]

No I won't. It's highway robbery and I refuse to pay 500% of market value for ANYTHING. It's a matter of principle, and while many people on this forum have principles that lie with following the rules, mine simply do not. We will have to agree to disagree on this one.

This is why I go to the movies approximately once or twice a year and prefer to watch in the comfort of my where I can smoke, drink, pause to go to the bathroom and have a cat on my lap

I can see it from both sides. I've known the management of a local indy cinema for a long time. They're certainly not 500% prices, though their concession stand is noticeably more expensive than the local supermarket. That's where they make their money though: the reality for most if not all local cinemas is that they pretty much break even on most films, and the lion's share of their profit is made on drinks / sweets / popcorn etc. I don't mind so much either paying a little more or choosing to do without and waiting til I go home when that's the case. Course, I would resent it in a West End multiplex where they charge the equivalent of USD26.00 for a film (not me, they don't!), but that's the West End for ya....

The biggest appeal of staying in with a DVD for me is that I can be sure there won't be a bunch of gobby teenage kids talking through it all, but I do generally enjoy the experience of going out to the cinema. Does me good to leave the flat once in a while, I spend far too much time in solitary.... (as opposed to sitting in a dakr room with lots of strangers and not speaking to any of them.... ).

 

[KittyT]

I can see it from both sides. I've known the management of a local indy cinema for a long time. They're certainly not 500% prices, though their concession stand is noticeably more expensive than the local supermarket. That's where they make their money though: the reality for most if not all local cinemas is that they pretty much break even on most films, and the lion's share of their profit is made on drinks / sweets / popcorn etc. I don't mind so much either paying a little more or choosing to do without and waiting til I go home when that's the case. Course, I would resent it in a West End multiplex where they charge the equivalent of USD26.00 for a film (not me, they don't!), but that's the West End for ya....

Oh, well I'm just talking about the big, corporate cinemas like Loews. There are really only 3 indie cinemas in Boston and none of them engage in outright highway robbery for their concessions and I feel pretty different about buying concessions there. I mean, at the Brattle Theater in Harvard Square, I don't mind because I can buy a local brand of ice cream, granola bars and have many more interesting and healthy options at prices that are fair.

OK, back to poor dating etiquette. Sorry this got so off-topic!

 

[Dr Doran]

OK, back to poor dating etiquette. Sorry this got so off-topic!

Actually, I LIKE it when threads get off-topic.

 

[Dr Doran]

" A man may be forgiven the kiss to which he was not entitled, but never the kiss he had not the initiative to take."

If only I had known this at 16.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

If only I had known this at 16.

goes for me too...

 

[Paisley]

I can see it from both sides. I've known the management of a local indy cinema for a long time. They're certainly not 500% prices, though their concession stand is noticeably more expensive than the local supermarket. That's where they make their money though: the reality for most if not all local cinemas is that they pretty much break even on most films, and the lion's share of their profit is made on drinks / sweets / popcorn etc. I don't mind so much either paying a little more or choosing to do without and waiting til I go home when that's the case. Course, I would resent it in a West End multiplex where they charge the equivalent of USD26.00 for a film (not me, they don't!), but that's the West End for ya....

Agreed. I used to resent paying $5 at a restaurant for a baked potato, since the grocery store sells potatoes for, oh, about 10 cents. Or $1.50 for a cup of tea when a tea bag is about 14 cents. But then, going to a restaurant or theater and going to the grocery store aren't quite the same thing, are they?

 

[Dr Doran]

This is why I go to the movies approximately once or twice a year and prefer to watch in the comfort of my where I can smoke, drink, pause to go to the bathroom and have a cat on my lap

Lapcat rental at the cinema a possiblity? I LIKE IT.

But seriously, Kitty, what they do in Oregon, and two places near where I live, makes it all worthwhile. They charge very little for the film (2nd run films or arthouse) and you buy real food at normal prices: pizza (plenty of veggie options), very fine local beers, other things. You take the drinks to your seats. There are tables. You also take a glowing number. Then when the food is ready, the servers bring you it. There are raffles and such before the film, too. You cannot smoke, alas. But the rest is great.

The places that do this in Oregon are operated by the McMenamin brothers (sp?), who recondition old bars, cinemas, and in one case an entire junior high school for this purpose. Sometimes (as with the last example) they install restaurants and bed-and-breakfasts. In my neck of the woods are two "speakeasy theaters," the El Cerrito and the Parkway, both operated by the same folks. It's a community effort and it makes going to the movies a lot of fun.