Can any of you relate to me?

[dog20]

I'm 22 and I don't like my life. I don't have anything in it to look forward to... no passions. Everyday is the same and I am never happy. My social life is non-existent, I have a couple of friends but I've lost touch with them and we never hang out, and I find myself being alone and sad pretty much all the time. I think that the ages 20-30 are supposed to be tough times for many people because they have to discover themselves and set some sort of path for life.

I don't know if I'm normal or not, I just wish I had brighter days ahead. Is it messed up that even though it'll be like 11am, I'll feel like the day is already over (because I know I have nothing special planned for that day or I'll have to devote the rest of the day to school work)? I need to get a social life, find something in life worth living for (music or whatever), and figure out some sort of career path. I've been in school since fall '04 and I am still clueless about what I want to do.

All of this is very frustrating to me.

 

[Chas]

The 20s suck. Results almost never reach expectations. The 30s are a little better. It depends upon the person. The sex is lousy in your 20's, to boot. Go with me on this. I know.

Are you asking for advice? That's dangerous, for the giver and the receiver.

But if put to it, my advice would be to sell what can be sold, give away what can't and move to a new city. A change is good as a rest, and family are still there. You could always come back. Live, bucky, live. Wait on tables in Greece, rent a shitty little apt. in Paris, and live live live. Drink more wine. Have a couple more doomed love affairs, and then you might find you. If not, rinse and repeat. School? No worries, right? How many years do you have to finish the degree? 10 or something. You can pack a lot into that amount of time.

A life path at 22??? HA HA HA. What you have been told, forget. Your life path is yours to figure out. What worked for mummy, daddy and your cuz isn't yours. It was theirs. Forget what your flipping family and high school counselors (?!!) may have told you.

You have this incredible good fortune to be alive, above ground and enough brains to appreciate it. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Carpe Diem, kiddo. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Don't procastinate like I did. As the Newfies say, GIVE 'ER

One last bit of advice - find your inner Joel Gray.
Joel Gray

 

[KY Gentleman]

I'm 22 and I don't like my life. I don't have anything in it to look forward to...

My friend, you have a LOT to look forward to.

 

[HarpPlayerGene]

I'm an artist. I don't even play a therapist on TV. But I can relate to your situation from the experience side. So here's some tricks that help me:

One of the absolute best treatments for this kind of malaise is to help another person in some way. To get "outside of yourself". Go to an 'old folks home' and see if you can volunteer to do something. Become a "Big Brother" to some young kid. It doesn't have to be some big commitment either; it could just be helping your neighbor one afternoon doing some repairs on his house. Think up your own approach to this, but you get the idea. It's also a very good exercise to do something nice for someone without them knowing and tell no one. Keep it entirely to yourself. Something like replace the wiper blades on a friends car. If you go around looking for those quick, cheap little gifts you can give to others it gets you out from under your own microscope.

Turn the TV off - it'll melt your mind! Take walks in some little downtown and eat lunch outside on the patio of some cafe once a week if you can. And while you're out in the fresh air doing this, write in a journal about the challenges you're having and what you think may be causing them and what might help. This is a good one.

I've gone through these funks enough to have developed some tools for turning their momentum to sort of an advantage at times. I'm in my forties and things have gotten clearer for sure since my twenties.

Another thing I find important is to remain grateful even when I'm down. You see, I've learned that painful times represent growth. All my "nervous breakthroughs" I call them, came as the result of feeling troubled to begin with. I think some people are 'chosen' to learn in this way and if we don't fight it, but willingly try to accept the message within it, we may grow stronger than we ever thought possible by being forged in a little bit of fire. Dig?

Also, at the end of each day, I take inventory of all the things for which I can be grateful. That list includes the simplest little stuff like, "those eggs I had for breakfast" and "that quarter I found on the ground" and "safe travel on the road" and on and on.

I've got to hand it to you, Dog; you're plenty bright and you've got 'nads. I'm impressed with people who can put these kinds of cards on the table the way you have. You've got it over on a lot of people by being so forthright about what's bugging you. That is very difficult for some of us. I am of English ancestry and I think it's in my DNA to 'keep mum' and have a 'stiff upper lip' and 'all that rot'. But for what it's worth, because you asked for some feedback, I have been enriched by the experience of typing this to you. Thanks for that!

Y'know, quite a few successful psychiatrists were once at your crossroads and they used their own search for peace and understanding as a motivation to get into that very field...

All the best,

G

 

[Spitfire]

Dog20 - as Churchill said:
"If you are going through hell, keep going!"

Cheer up mate!

 

[Baron Kurtz]

By school, i assume you mean college? Isn't that something to look forward to? Seeking knowledge and the beginnings of a career path? I admit, doing work for classes sucks hugely … pretty much because it's generally not very easy. But think what you get out of it in the long run. Compleion of a degree is certainly a thing to look forwardto and be proud of.

Hobbies? Reading? Internet forums?

bk

 

[MPicciotto]

I need to echo HarpPlayerGene. The best way to have "a life" and live it to its fullest is to live as if your life does not matter to you but only others lives. When you sacrifice your time, your money to help others you will find your own life to be more rich then you can imagine. Is there a local "Rescue Mission", Boys & Girls Club, Lighthouse Shelter etc that you could volunteer at? A little time spent on "the front lines" like that and your perspective will shift 180 degrees. To quote a song "Your not really living unless your living for something worth dying for". All your teachers throughout school have relentlessly pushed the get an education make money mantra. But 60, 80 years from now whether you have a dollar in your pocket or a million dollars you will still die. The fact that your not satisfied with that tells me that you already see the flaw in that system. You are already striving for more. So don't despair, seek that "more". Keep us posted how it goes.

Matt

 

[Hemingway Jones]

This is personal blog material and not really what we do here in a vintage-related forum. However, considering the nature of this post, I'll leave it up so people can correspond via PM where personal business is best transacted.