Become a Gentleman thread

[Mycroft]

Ok, a while back some of us were talking about gentlemenlyness etc., for a breif period in them middle of another thread. I decided to start a book list and training list for all us aspiring gentlemen (meaning we all are gentlemen or ladies(off topic), but we want to get better at it.

Here goes the first 3 books some of my favorites:

How To Be A Gentleman : A Contemporary Guide to Common Courtesy
by John Bridges

A Gentleman's Guide to Appearance
by Clinton T., III Greenleaf

Gentleman's Guide to Grooming and Style

by Konemman





Any you all know good websites etc., try to be less fashion or clothing base, more mannerisms, ediquette, etc.

 

[shamus]

Hey,

That's the book I was talking about on the bottom!

B&N for 15 dollars!

I haven't seen the top 2, but I'll check them out.

Of course it takes more than reading about being a gentleman to be a gentleman. But it's a great place to start!

 

[Mycroft]

Hey,

That's the book I was talking about on the bottom!

B&N for 15 dollars!

I haven't seen the top 2, but I'll check them out.

Of course it takes more than reading about being a gentleman to be a gentleman. But it's a great place to start!

Very true it is all about the application to the point where you are not consous of it and do it for the best of everyone.

 

[Nick Charles]

I have this one,

They are part of a great series of books.

 

[Mycroft]

I have this one,

They are part of a great series of books.

Acually, I am considering the entire set next time I am at the book store, you think it is worth it? Anything on hats in there?

 

[Nick Charles]

yes, but the book doesn't tell you about getting them its about wearing them, when to tip, take off and such.

 

[Mycroft]

yes, but the book doesn't tell you about getting them its about wearing them, when to tip, take off and such.

Well, thats no fun. I guess its not "modern enough" for Mr. Bridges or Curtis.

 

[jamespowers]

Mycroft you did mean to title this "Become a Gentleman Thread" not Threat right?
I took the liberty of fixing the title because I don't think we need threatening gentlemen but I will change it back if that is what you meant.

Regards to all,

J

 

[Mycroft]

Mycroft you did mean to title this "Become a Gentleman Thread" not Threat right?
I took the liberty of fixing the title because I don't think we need threatening gentlemen but I will change it back if that is what you meant.

Regards to all,

J

You know I can't spell for my liffe. Thanks man, leave the changes.

 

[Senator Jack]

Is it possible that these books are getting it wrong? If there are so many of them being sold, why do I meet so few "gentlemen". I'd be curious to see a comparison of a gentleman's book from the 20s and one from today - what topics each address. As for the third book, what a poor choice of model for the cover. He looks like a football player on awards night!

Regards,

Senator Jack

 

[PADDY]

Hear-Hear Shamus!

Hey,

Of course it takes more than reading about being a gentleman to be a gentleman. But it's a great place to start!

Shamus, couldn't have put it more finely! Many walk the walk, but don't talk the talk! But 'reading' about it is a good starting point. Of course you can dress appropriately, but as soon as some individuals open their mouths they seem to mix their P's and Q's with abandon, or lunge inappropriately for the peas on their plate like they were trying to spear a fish in water that just leaves a car crash careering across the table!!
So yes, it takes more than just looking the part (but as Shamus said, "it's a start!" to read about it, as in these books).

I would go as far as to say that you've got to train the inner person first to being a gentleman and then the outer shell will naturally raise it's game to reflect that.

Those look like good reference reads for anyones library! Start writing to Santa now!! Pip-Pip.

 

[Baron Kurtz]

It would be good if the top book about common courtesy was required reading for every person once a year from primary school onwards. There is a serious lack of such behaviour. At least in Indiana.

As for the books about how gents dress: I reckon they're mired in the (mis)conceptions of the authors rather than good taste. i read them and was thoroughly unimpressed - especially the one with the red cover.

bk

 

[The Mad Hatter]

I hate to be flip, but Machievelli's The Prince or Nietsche's Beyond Good and Evil have about as much to do with being a gentleman as some book on howto set a table or to dress according to some standard.

This is difficult to explain, but note that "chivalry" literally does mean "cavalry."

Also, occassionally you will encounter twaddle about "to the manner born." Unfortunatley, the correct expression is "to the manor born." A gentleman is someone who actually was born in a manor house; not someone who manifests this or that behavior.

Let me be blunt: Count Dracula - whatever other faults he may have had - was nevertheless a gentleman.

I'm sorry, but that's the deal.

 

[jamespowers]

Ah, but was Machievelli's the Prince a manual for sucess or a satirical comment on man's ability to act foolishly?
The Prince as I see it is a critical commentary on the failures of citizens, not the successes of princes. It is written in such a way to engage the reader in a process of critical analysis. It appears to say one thing but actually meaning another to its educated and thoughtful readers.
You have to remember the historical context in which he wrote. Perhaps his Discourses put his perspective in a better context.
?¢‚Ǩ?ìTo usurp supreme and absolute authority, then, in a free state and subject it to tyranny, the people must have already become corrupt from generation to generation. And all states necessarily come to this unless they are reinvigorated by good examples and brought back by good laws to their first principles?¢‚Ǩ? ( Discourses,III.8)
I don't see anything in there that tells people to act like boors in the course of achievement. :cheers1:

Regards to all,

J

 

[The Mad Hatter]

Ah, but was Machievelli's the Prince a manual for sucess or a satirical comment on man's ability to act foolishly?
The Prince as I see it is a critical commentary on the failures of citizens, not the successes of princes. It is written in such a way to engage the reader in a process of critical analysis. It appears to say one thing but actually meaning another to its educated and thoughtful readers.
You have to remember the historical context in which he wrote. Perhaps his Discourses put his perspective in a better context.
?¢‚Ǩ?ìTo usurp supreme and absolute authority, then, in a free state and subject it to tyranny, the people must have already become corrupt from generation to generation. And all states necessarily come to this unless they are reinvigorated by good examples and brought back by good laws to their first principles?¢‚Ǩ? ( Discourses,III.8)
I don't see anything in there that tells people to act like boors in the course of achievement. :cheers1:

Regards to all,

J

Drat, you come down on me for Machievelli when I was sure it would be my Dracula comment that would give people a rise.

I really don't have any reply, except more generally to note that - according to my way of looking at things - Gomez Addams is also a gentleman.

 

[scotrace]

From Brooks Brothers:

http://www.brooksbrothers.com/IWCatProductPage.process?Merchant_Id=1&Section_Id=471&Parent_Id=228&Product_Id=844339

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I thought that fellows who shopped at Brooks Brothers were already gentlemen.

As for a Christmas gift, is it gentlemanly of you to give someone a book called "How to be a Gentleman"? I mean, what does that imply about the person you're giving the book to?

 

[magneto]

Interdependence between hats and gentlemanliness: a study.

On a related note, you folks might like this:
http://www.spectator.co.uk/article.php?id=7046&issue=2005-12-10

{begin quote from article}
"Why do men behave so badly nowadays?...The explanation came to me a few months ago in a blinding flash of illumination: the hat. To the hat, or rather to the lack of one, is to be traced the source of all our ill-deportment. Bare heads, or heads accoutred in the wrong kind of headgear, cause our want of self-respect, and therefore our want of respect for others. What we need, therefore, is more hats"

Theodore Dalrymple, the voice of sanity.

 

[Matt Deckard]

I thought that fellas who shopped at Brooks Brothers were already gentlemen.

As for a Christmas gift, is it gentlemanly of you to give someone a book called "How to be a Gentleman"? I mean, what does that imply about the person you're giving the book to?

I shop at Brooks Brothers, though I do not consider myself a gentleman... though I do have aspirations.

I have the book though it is not one which I would say can teach you to be a gentleman. In my opinion it takes one to teach one. It's not book learned.

 

[Slicksuit]

I enjoyed that article, Magneto. I like the closing paragraphs, too:

That civil men should wear hats is much less interesting, of course, than if the wearing of hats should make men civil, for this would suggest that the encouragement of hat-wearing might lead to improved levels of public civility. It ought not to be beyond the resources of social psychology to provide experimental evidence as to whether my theory is correct or not, but it is sometimes necessary in times of crisis to act in advance of the evidence. Practically all government reforms are carried out with a complete absence of evidence as to whether they will work or not, and on much less plausible hypotheses than mine: for example, that bloated bureaucracies have the public interest at heart and want to solve the problems that have called them into being and are their raison d?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢?ɬ™tre.

It should not be beyond the wit of the government to promote the wearing of hats by fiscal and other means. After all, it is constantly pulling legislative levers and pressing fiscal buttons. It could be the beginning of a long overdue cultural counter-revolution.

Here, Here!