All You Need to Know About Hat Etiquette

[tealseal]

I think it's a matter of what's reasonable. If you're already juggling cash, wallet, coat, partner's coat and parafinalia I think it's reasonable to keep your hat on your head rather than introduce it to your juggling routine.

That's about what I did. However, the question begs: Where does one draw the line for considering an indoor place to be "public?" If I didn't have to handle all those things, but just tickets (summertime, say), would one remove his hat in a large foyer in a performing arts center? I've read to understand that keeping one's hat on in airports and train stations is OK...but how about hotel lobbies? museums? performing arts foyers? .... Does it ever feel to anyone else that we hat wearers, in the 21st century, are over-thinking these things? I'm sure my Grandfather wouldn't need to ask these questions of anyone, but this is the price we pay I suppose for trying to maintain a level of decorum that has fallen by the wayside. [huh]

Remember you're there to be entertained, not to do the entertaining

Ah, but should the evening fail to entertain the lady....

 

[tealseal]

If you wouldn't wear it inside at your mom's, why would you consider it OK to wear it inside at someone else's mom's?

Maybe I misunderstand, but I think that what NR is trying to say illustrates a situation I have found myself in many times. As a young man in his twenties, occasionally I go visit friends who are also in their twenties at their own dwellings (rented apartments/houses, etc.). At these locales, I'll keep my $150+ hat on my head, pushed back, if for no other reason than I know where it is and I can be assured it is safe. I doubt that NR would advocate keeping his hat on the back of his head while visiting a friend's mother's place, but I may be wrong.

 

[DesertDan]

At the theater I wear my hat until I am seated.

I consider it improper to wear a hat in someones's house or office or in a classroom. I always remove my hat while eating unless I am at a counter or outside.

 

[dnjan]

Maybe I misunderstand, but I think that what NR is trying to say illustrates a situation I have found myself in many times. As a young man in his twenties, occasionally I go visit friends who are also in their twenties at their own dwellings (rented apartments/houses, etc.). At these locales, I'll keep my $150+ hat on my head, pushed back, if for no other reason than I know where it is and I can be assured it is safe. I doubt that NR would advocate keeping his hat on the back of his head while visiting a friend's mother's place, but I may be wrong.

My point was that a house is a house, and if wearing the hat inside one house is not correct (because of the owner of the house), it shouldn't be correct in another house. Obviously, NR sensed something incorrect about wearing the house at his Mother's, and in my opinion that incorrectness carries over to other houses as well.

And I really find it hard to believe that a safe place for a hat could not be found at a friend's house. Most houses have a closet near the door. That closet frequently has a shelf. And in most cases that shelf is not stuffed all the way to the ceiling with stuff. so my hat goes there. Or on the top of a bookshelf.

 

[tealseal]

And I really find it hard to believe that a safe place for a hat could not be found at a friend's house. Most houses have a closet near the door. That closet frequently has a shelf. And in most cases that shelf is not stuffed all the way to the ceiling with stuff. so my hat goes there. Or on the top of a bookshelf.

dnjan, 9 times out of 10 I agree with you, and I make an attempt to remove my hat upon entering someone's residence.
However, there are situations, particularly in student housing areas where houses have been "renovated" to hold six people, where there actually is no safe place. Hard to believe, but trust me. If there is a closet, it is jammed, same goes for any coat-rack that may be around. Additionally, some college students are not the best housekeepers, so setting it on any surface at any height risks setting it in dirt or something sticky OR getting something sticky spilled on it. :eeek: In these situations, I keep it with me.

I believe that I read somewhere on the FL (this thread, even?) the story of a gentleman who was having a lunch meeting with another gentleman. The other wore his western hat while at the table, and after a brief discussion on the matter, the former gentleman retrieved his Federation and wore it for the duration of the meeting. This would seem to illustrate that what is "proper" is very much dependent on the surroundings and expectations. Obviously the man with the Fed considered it improper to wear a hat at the table, but in this situation it was, in fact, OK. Thus, if a friend wears his ballcap in his house, I feel it is appropriate for me to keep my fedora on my head (as an aside, when that individual visits me at my house, or enters a restaurant, he removes his ballcap..I'm working on converting him to a proper hat, since he's not hopeless on the etiquette).

 

[dnjan]

OK. I'll grant you most of that. However I balk at the concept of a decent hat-wearer stooping to the level of a ballcap-er.

 

[tealseal]

OK. I'll grant you most of that. However I balk at the concept of a decent hat-wearer stooping to the level of a ballcap-er.

lol lol lol yeah... but it's really because he didn't know any better. He doesn't yet know he's getting a crushable C-crown Jaxon for his birthday this year.

 

[dnjan]

I admire the attempt.

Just remember - you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

 

[tealseal]

I admire the attempt.

Just remember - you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

lol I do my best to be the proper hat ambassador to my generation. He has the etiquette down in as much as he knows to take it off inside (his own house notwithstanding, but then again, he can do whatever he wants in his own home), at a table, when talking to ladies, national anthem, funeral procession, etc. He just needs to perform that etiquette with a proper hat. Again, I think this is only an artifact of ignorance as to what hats are out there. I'm hoping that once he tastes the water, he'll decide that it would taste better if it were wine, and goes for a fur

 

[thenar]

I wear a Cattleman's style Resistol. Here in Colorado, like in Texas we tend to keep our hats on indoors as well as out. We take them off in movies, churches, funerals and if we're going to be spending more than a few minutes in someone's house. Part of the problem is what the hell do you do with the darn thing? It's big and not flexible and has an awkward shape. The best place for it is on my head, so I tend to leave it there.

My fedora, on the other hand is a completely different matter. I tend to take it off inside, tip it to the ladies, and acknowledge friends. I tend to travel in a crushable Fedora and so I take it off on planes. What would you do with your Stetson on a plane? It takes up way too much room in the overhead and is likely to get damaged up there...so on a plane trip...wear your cowboy hat...but then it tends to bang into the back of the airline seat...on second thought just travel with your Fedora.

The list of dos and don'ts above would way too much for me to handle. I think just being polite is enough these days. My Resistol is so comfortable I often forget I have it on and have been known to leave it on, say during a 90th birthday party.

 

[panama red]

well, what would I do? I live in Boston. If I'm in public and say hello to anyone I know, or not, I use my right hand first two fingers and with the first joint of my first finger tip the edge of my brim, just over my right eye, slightly downward, and say hello. For thank you's, and excuse me's, also the same, with the verbal response. For, your welcome, the same with the hat with or without the verbal as I deem. In my house I wear or not as I feel. If I visit some one It's "When in Rome do as the Romans do". If a Woman is their I will remove it at meeting, then as you do I do. At a gathering indoors I will remove it on entering and then do as others are doing. I will keep it with me. In a bar, I wear it, diner, I wear it, restaurant, I remove it- sit at a booth and keep it on the seat away from danger. I avoid restaurants with chairs and no where to store it( want my business create one, I'm paying enough). baseball caps-I wear them, to do maintenance work, go to sporting events( if I don't wear a hat), or if I'm painting. I'm not retro, I just enjoy hats. I was brought up in the fifties and you weren't dressed if you went out without a hat. Modern times have different rules and the cumbersome ones are falling to the wayside. Women today should be treated with respect but as equals. They will demand it, it is their right, It is not disrespectful to treat them so in today's world. Everyone should receive courtesy, that is what manners are. If I want to show disdain I slowly will rub my brim edge across the front with my right hand counterclockwise and flick my fingers facial expression to accompany.

 

[xceL]

How to wear a Fedora

Probably a silly question, but I'm rather new to hats to be honest.

I came across a Fedora when I went shopping with the gf, thought I'd try something new.

Is the hat meant to be tilted further down? or tilted sideways?


A question about etiquette, do you take the fedora off when you walk into any building? I ducked into the local supermarket during my lunch break at work for a couple of minutes and was wondering if I should bother taking my hat off, especially since both hands were full?

 

[LoveMyHats2]

Hello, welcome to the lounge!

To answer some of your questions: Wear your hat in a way that you feel it suits your own "look".

As to when to remove your hat. I would think a store is acceptable to leaving it on, I do when I am in a retail store. Places to remove a hat= Church, Government Office, your place of employment and it's office as well. Any "formal" dinning settings, places you would eat that are formal. Houses, if you are going into someone else's home, you would remove the hat to show respect. You also remove the hat at any time you are being presented to anyone that you want to show respect towards. Hats come off in a theater, unless you have a private seating booth all to yourself, and even then you more than likely would remove it. A general rule I use, if you wish to show any display of respect for another person or place, take the hat off, and shake their hand when being introduced.

I am sure others may add to this. I wear my hat when I am sure at times others may have already removed theirs, but that is just me.

 

[Shangas]

Smooth down hair.

Place hat firmly on head.

Done.

Okay seriously...

How you wear it is totally up to you, so long as it doesn't look stupid.

Traditional rules of hatiquette said that you removed your hat when entering a private building.

So for example, you might wear it inside an office-building. But you'd take it off if you went into someone's office for an interview. Or you'd wear it into an apartment-block, but you'd take it off if you went into someone's flat, or into someone's private home.

Of course, those rules have relaxed in the 21st century, but there are those who still wish to retain them for the sake of manners.

 

[Woodfluter]

Hi xcel, and welcome!
Hope you'll like it here. Lots of friendly, helpful folks around.

You look sharp in the photo you posted.
BTW, is that the Gerber baby over your right shoulder?

Really, hat etiquette is changeable and depends on local and temporal norms.
I'd never take it off in a supermarket or equivalent. Too much bother.

I often go the the Unitarian Universalist congregation of my wife.
I don't bother to take my hat off in the outer areas, but do when entering the sanctuary.
It just feels right.

On the flip side of this, my wife is Jewish by birth and tradition. So when attending some solemn Jewish rites, it is considered disrespectful not to wear headgear of some sort. Egad!

Adding to the confusion, hat customs have varied over time. In the latter 16th and early 17th centuries, many wore hats during divine service and there was intense debate over this.

"The Quaker leader George Fox later recalled: "O! The blows, punchings, beatings and imprisonments that we underwent, for not putting off our hats to men! Some had their hats violently plucked off and thrown away, so that they quite lost them." Many male Quakers were indeed imprisoned for this crime; the main offence among Quaker women was their tendency to interrupt ministers in the pulpit, and hold forth to a generally unappreciative audience."

The cynic in me says "you can't win". The realist says "there's many norms and they're always changing, and you are part of the change yourself". Somehow for me, caps and hats have slightly different norms these days...based on what I've seen others do. Maybe deserves at thread of its own?

My personal views about cultural habits are:
(1) Keep your antennae out and see what others feel are OK.
(2) Courtesy consists in doing things that make others feel comfortable. But...
(3) Don't sacrifice your convictions to make others feel comfortable.

Hat-honor, for want of a better term, has ranged from an innocent courtesy (predominant in our times) to an acknowledgment of superiority. You'll have to work this out for yourself, as has each generation.

 

[xceL]

Hi Woodflutter and Shangas,

Thanks for the info Cheers.

 

[scottyrocks]

Not for nothing, xcel, but when I looked at your picture, I instantly saw you in a wider brimmed hat. I think your features cry out for it.

 

[Otateral]

And how about in a supermarket or department store, when you begin to approach check-out. Proper rules are when approaching a lady, you should remove your hat. If the checkout person is female, would this also apply? Or, because these are such public places does it become acceptable to leave it on?

 

[mayserwegener]

Definitely leave it on.

 

[Bornabulldog]

I'm new here, this is my first post, but I thought I'd weigh in to this one with some of my personal thoughts on hat etiquette.

I was in the military (Navy) and had it drilled into me time and again when to doff/don a hat and why. Since leaving the services, I've continued to employ hat etiquette where I can, because I believe it's just such a fantastically easy and automatic way to pay respect and show humility. Humility is the key for me: By removing your hat, you are acknowledging you are part of society, not above it. That you are not the center of the universe.

I doff my hat pretty much as has been detailed in previous posts, when entering a private building, hotel, lift, etc. or when passed by a funeral service or the Australian national flag.

I don't generally tip my hat for various reasons, chief amongst which is a feeling of certainty that the gesture would be 1) misunderstood as chauvinist — though I don't agree that it is — or 2) not even noticed/appreciated. I will, however, tip my hat when passing or greeting a Digger (Aussie slang for war veteran), purely in recognition of their service and sacrifice to make me a free man; I also tip my hat to the elderly, as I know they'll appreciate the gesture.

Likewise, I always doff my hat when passing any form of memorial, plaque or other remembrance of veterans. A visit just this weekend past to the Australian War Memorial had me donning/doffing at a rapid enough rate to melt the sweatband.

One thing I'm sure many would say is not strictly proper etiquette is that I always remove my hat when talking to small children, a main reason being I am 6'4" and with a big wide-brimmed fedora or one of my cowboy hats on, look quite intimidating to the little ones.

I love my hats, and I love being known amongst my friends for being polite and courteous in the wearing of them. I also find older generations (I'm only 29) treat me with much more respect as a result of the respect shown them, and removing/tipping my hat at the proper times can start that ball rolling the moment you meet them.

My ongoing mission: Convincing those old buggers us young whippersnappers aren't all bad apples…